Sick of feeling like the world hates me

I'm feeling sick of leaving the house only to be met with looks of disgust and disdain. It feels like everyone I pass on the street knows something bad about me but I have no clue whatsoever what I even did.

I don't want to leave the house for anything unless I have to (for work or such). I can't be bothered trying to make new friendships/relationships because I feel like absolutely everyone around my age, knows everything about me. I don't know what I could have possibly done that could have been spread around in such a way that it never came back to me.

I'm already feeling so lost in life, I have zero aspirations and while I hate my current job, I have no other options available. These feelings are just making living so horrible.
I have some money saved up that I might just spend on a nice pc upgrade, so that I don't really have any reason to leave the house and can just stay inside, enjoying my own company.

I don't want to kill myself because of how selfish it is, but the thoughts plague my mind so much that I feel like it's my only option.
At least if I do, I could sell my stuff where optimally the money would go to a cat shelter.
I don't see myself living past 30 so I guess I can start saving and planning on the best way to go.

The void calls and I hear it loudly.

- ryan